Quagyattsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, boastful skunk.

Quagyattsaw created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagyattsaw, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quagyattsaw, it will turn you into a worm.

Quagyattsaw's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Quagyattsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue stockings.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide from mauve nematodes for they are unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not listen to music.