Sakvinmet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient grasshopper.

Sakvinmet created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sakvinmet, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sakvinmet, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sakvinmet's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Sakvinmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Erect five titanium sculptures of Sakvinmet on top of important buildings.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.