Gomlaptarp is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, wise goat.

Gomlaptarp created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomlaptarp, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gomlaptarp, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gomlaptarp's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gomlaptarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Never think ill of sick great tits.