Nilldumtail is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, clever giraffe.

Nilldumtail created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilldumtail, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nilldumtail, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nilldumtail's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Nilldumtail's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are not to be trusted.

2. Do not take Nilldumtail's name in vain.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away from violet voles, for they are unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.