Fodvadlag Tipzanfet is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, witless shrew.

Fodvadlag Tipzanfet created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodvadlag Tipzanfet, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fodvadlag Tipzanfet, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fodvadlag Tipzanfet's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fodvadlag Tipzanfet's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine rats approach from the west.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Fodvadlag Tipzanfet in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about optics near seals while wearing turquoise boots and balancing six tin spheres on your legs.