Cissgonwatsab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy swallow.

Cissgonwatsab created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissgonwatsab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cissgonwatsab, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cissgonwatsab's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cissgonwatsab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat bark.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not make images of living things.