Quamtagcimbus is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, grumpy cat.

Quamtagcimbus created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamtagcimbus, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quamtagcimbus, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quamtagcimbus' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Quamtagcimbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.