Bifrutsablen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awesome hippopotamus.

Bifrutsablen created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Bifrutsablen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifrutsablen, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bifrutsablen's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bifrutsablen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bifrutsablen.

2. Always help tortoises in need.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Hide if four snails approach from the east.

5. Never laugh in the presence of horses.