Appvagbastbugladbog is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, almighty donkey.

Appvagbastbugladbog created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Appvagbastbugladbog, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Appvagbastbugladbog, she will turn you into a mole.

Appvagbastbugladbog's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Appvagbastbugladbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never hurt sheep.