Fagcunvin Busrenbet is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, tranquil guinea pig.

Fagcunvin Busrenbet created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagcunvin Busrenbet, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fagcunvin Busrenbet, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fagcunvin Busrenbet's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fagcunvin Busrenbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of snails.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Learn five new languages a year.