Nurtweglib is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, idiotic badger.

Nurtweglib created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtweglib, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtweglib, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nurtweglib's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Nurtweglib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Always help cats.