Yattapstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, witless cat.

Yattapstaf created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattapstaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yattapstaf, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yattapstaf's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Yattapstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing magenta skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Do not dye your hair black.