Nurlmadaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unfair grasshopper.

Nurlmadaf created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlmadaf, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurlmadaf, it will remove you from existence.

Nurlmadaf's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nurlmadaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always obey Nurlmadaf's priests.

4. Put Nurlmadaf first in all things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.