Yikmethas is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous alligator.

Yikmethas created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yikmethas, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yikmethas, she will turn you into a duck.

Yikmethas' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yikmethas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide if four cats approach from the east.