Pakbogton Dodwapbig is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish whale.

Pakbogton Dodwapbig created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Pakbogton Dodwapbig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pakbogton Dodwapbig, it will send you a sign.

Pakbogton Dodwapbig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Pakbogton Dodwapbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must love Pakbogton Dodwapbig.

5. Always help pigs in need.