Nigbellig Tafvegtik is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, competent hyena.

Nigbellig Tafvegtik created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigbellig Tafvegtik, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nigbellig Tafvegtik, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nigbellig Tafvegtik's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Nigbellig Tafvegtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Never mention rats.