Karlibrat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable dolphin.

Karlibrat created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karlibrat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Karlibrat, she will cry a lot.

Karlibrat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Karlibrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near great tits.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about planets.