Badmadkip Pon is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking seal.

Badmadkip Pon created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badmadkip Pon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Badmadkip Pon, she will curse you with boils.

Badmadkip Pon's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Badmadkip Pon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Badmadkip Pon.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not kill geese.

4. Always look after injured badgers.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.