Zogcenpod is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, selfish raccoon.

Zogcenpod created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogcenpod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zogcenpod, it will destroy your home solar system.

Zogcenpod's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Zogcenpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Always help bats.

4. Zogcenpod loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.