Flaphakcit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered hamster.

Flaphakcit created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Flaphakcit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flaphakcit, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Flaphakcit's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Flaphakcit's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flaphakcit.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.