Ortpangster is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, passionate giraffe.

Ortpangster created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Ortpangster, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ortpangster, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ortpangster's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Ortpangster's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Erect a giant green sculpture of Ortpangster in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.