Karnuttettiwip is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering faun.

Karnuttettiwip created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karnuttettiwip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Karnuttettiwip, he will not care at all.

Karnuttettiwip's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Karnuttettiwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Worship no other gods but Karnuttettiwip.

4. You must pray to Karnuttettiwip six times a day.

5. You must love Karnuttettiwip.