Gabwotrill is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise tortoise.

Gabwotrill created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabwotrill, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gabwotrill, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gabwotrill's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gabwotrill's Holy Commandments

1. Gabwotrill loves dogs, so they must be respected.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Do not keep eight sheep in a large pit.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.