Tarprilmap Natbutontxinjap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome manatee.

Tarprilmap Natbutontxinjap created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarprilmap Natbutontxinjap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tarprilmap Natbutontxinjap, he will ignore you.

Tarprilmap Natbutontxinjap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tarprilmap Natbutontxinjap's Holy Commandments

1. Tarprilmap Natbutontxinjap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never feed turnips to ducks while wearing magenta shirts.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Never wear skirts.