Vabsaslan is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, two-faced crocodile.

Vabsaslan created the Sombrero Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabsaslan, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vabsaslan, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vabsaslan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vabsaslan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three pigs approach from the east.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed nuts to mites while wearing magenta shoes.

5. Do not commit murder.