Spag is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, blissful squid.

Spag created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Spag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Spag, she will turn you into a mole.

Spag's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Spag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help moths.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near frogs while wearing fawn skirts and balancing five gold spheres on your face.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never look in ponds.