Spagfarnsog is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful unicorn.

Spagfarnsog created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Spagfarnsog, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagfarnsog, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Spagfarnsog's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Spagfarnsog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Spagfarnsog first in all things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Spagfarnsog.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.