Vonfig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, egotistical crow.

Vonfig created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonfig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonfig, it will be mildly annoyed.

Vonfig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Vonfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Vonfig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about moons.