Dadzanwip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ill-tempered eagle.

Dadzanwip created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dadzanwip, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dadzanwip, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dadzanwip's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Dadzanwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

2. Run away if seven nematodes approach from the west.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never feed lots of nuts to tapirs while wearing black skirts.

5. Do not stand on grass.