Pagzedlap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited goose.

Pagzedlap created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Pagzedlap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pagzedlap, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Pagzedlap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Pagzedlap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Fast once a month.