Kammetsas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, awesome fish.

Kammetsas created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kammetsas, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kammetsas, she will turn you into a sheep.

Kammetsas' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Kammetsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat spinach.