Bogtafcub is a god.

He takes the form of a large, duplicitous gnu.

Bogtafcub created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtafcub, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bogtafcub, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bogtafcub's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bogtafcub's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Never hurt cats.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.