Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous alligator.

Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never talk about optics near rats while wearing black rings.

5. Worship no other gods but Tamzigfligfongep Yarldumtomtit.