Zogdussasvad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable hamster.

Zogdussasvad created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogdussasvad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zogdussasvad, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Zogdussasvad's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Zogdussasvad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Never think about gravity near tapirs while wearing brown trousers and balancing six gold spheres on your chest.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never sing near gulls.