Volbossgom is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, strong tapir.

Volbossgom created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volbossgom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Volbossgom, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Volbossgom's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Volbossgom's Holy Commandments

1. Volbossgom loves goats, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed turnips to shrews while wearing purple hats.

3. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.