Batcebnig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tranquil troll.

Batcebnig created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Batcebnig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Batcebnig, he will not care at all.

Batcebnig's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Batcebnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never feed wheat to moths while wearing violet ear rings.

5. Never eat onions.