Nanpangatranyatnegsomyak is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, able crane.

Nanpangatranyatnegsomyak created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Nanpangatranyatnegsomyak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Nanpangatranyatnegsomyak, he will boil you in a big pot.

Nanpangatranyatnegsomyak's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Nanpangatranyatnegsomyak's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Nanpangatranyatnegsomyak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not chop down trees.