Tadwigjabquatjan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, benevolent snail.

Tadwigjabquatjan created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Tadwigjabquatjan, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tadwigjabquatjan, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tadwigjabquatjan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tadwigjabquatjan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tadwigjabquatjan first in all things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not eat peas.