Hogladtal Cammumtif is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, boastful centaur.

Hogladtal Cammumtif created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogladtal Cammumtif, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hogladtal Cammumtif, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hogladtal Cammumtif's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Hogladtal Cammumtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near seals while wearing cyan dresses and balancing three lead spheres on your arms.