Midsogparkpod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, competent dingo.

Midsogparkpod created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midsogparkpod, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Midsogparkpod, he will send you a sign.

Midsogparkpod's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Midsogparkpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help geese.