Arpruttcan Komfedladpag Fudlidquill is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable snake.

Arpruttcan Komfedladpag Fudlidquill created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpruttcan Komfedladpag Fudlidquill, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arpruttcan Komfedladpag Fudlidquill, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Arpruttcan Komfedladpag Fudlidquill's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Arpruttcan Komfedladpag Fudlidquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always wear black.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Never feed nuts to squirrels while wearing rings.