Fatbagpom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, passionate giraffe.

Fatbagpom created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatbagpom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fatbagpom, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fatbagpom's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fatbagpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about squirrels.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not keep five mice in a large pit.

5. Always help seals.