Mincattar is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, happy octopus.

Mincattar created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mincattar, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mincattar, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mincattar's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Mincattar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Retreat if six birds approach from the north.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. You must love Mincattar.