Nartbamflag is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humorless narwhal.

Nartbamflag created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartbamflag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nartbamflag, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nartbamflag's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Nartbamflag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nartbamflag.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nartbamflag.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Erect eight lead sculptures of Nartbamflag on top of important buildings.