Janpitstikdogbesswabzodwip is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unselfish goose.

Janpitstikdogbesswabzodwip created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Janpitstikdogbesswabzodwip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Janpitstikdogbesswabzodwip, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Janpitstikdogbesswabzodwip's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Janpitstikdogbesswabzodwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never wear fawn ear rings.

5. Never think about special relativity near frogs while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing four copper spheres on your neck.