Carwig is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, deceitful wombat.

Carwig created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carwig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Carwig, she will turn you into a goat.

Carwig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Carwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Carwig.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.