Quattonyam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, confident troll.

Quattonyam created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quattonyam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quattonyam, he will turn you into a rock.

Quattonyam's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quattonyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras in need.

2. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

3. Run away from blue moths, for they are unholy.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Never wear shoes.