Cimnig Bessgubtan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate ferret.

Cimnig Bessgubtan created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cimnig Bessgubtan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cimnig Bessgubtan, she will ignore you.

Cimnig Bessgubtan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cimnig Bessgubtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Run away if four geese approach from the east.