Flagxucjan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered hydra.

Flagxucjan created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagxucjan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flagxucjan, he will manifest in front of you.

Flagxucjan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Flagxucjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Flagxucjan.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Flagxucjan on top of important buildings.