Yoghitab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, confident grasshopper.

Yoghitab created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoghitab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yoghitab, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Yoghitab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Yoghitab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not eat rice.

3. Never talk about whales.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never look at stars.